How to be Vulnerable and Start Living Authentically
Feeling connected with others and showing the truth of who we are is essential for our well-being. But over time, we can stop showing the truth of who we are for fear of disappointment, pain and rejection. To start living the truest, most authentic life we can, we must learn how to embrace the feeling of vulnerability. If you’re curious about vulnerability, read on to find out why we’re so used to keeping our thoughts, feelings and emotions hidden away and the steps you can take to become more open and vulnerable.
What does it mean to be vulnerable?
Vulnerability is all about opening ourselves up emotionally to other people. It’s a topic that has been made popular by author and researcher Brene Brown and continues to be talked about throughout spirituality. Vulnerability is a state that is natural to us. As young children, most of us built trust with our primary caregivers, but as we grew up, we became more aware of the risks involved with opening our hearts to others. This will have left many of us finding ways to protect ourselves, such as staying in our comfort zone.
It can be particularly challenging to be vulnerable in relationships. When we let people into our world, we must accept that there will be uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure, and many emotions. Embracing vulnerability in your life might look like taking a chance even though you might be rejected, telling a friend when they’ve upset you, or sharing private information.
Why is vulnerability important in life?
When we cannot be vulnerable, we will struggle to connect with others. Often, this is because we believe we are not worthy of love. In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown shares her extensive research on vulnerability. She says that true vulnerability is far from being a weakness, but having the courage to embrace vulnerability opens us up to experiences that bring purpose and meaning.
Vulnerability allows us to find a deeper connection with ourselves, enjoy stronger relationships, and find more purpose and meaning. It gives us the courage to live with no regrets and moves us towards a new level of self-acceptance.
Why is being vulnerable so hard?
Learning to become emotionally vulnerable takes much courage. Past hurts tend to stop people from being open with others. Over time, it becomes less painful to stay in our comfort zone and avoid feeling exposed and critiqued. The possibility of future pain, combined with the fact we are often our own worst critics, stops most of us from experiencing what it is to live authentically.
How can I be vulnerable without being needy?
Vulnerability is especially important within a relationship. But sometimes, vulnerability can slide toward neediness when we depend on the other person to make us happy. When we cannot honour the other person’s emotional needs, it comes across as needy, so it’s important to learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience.
How to be more vulnerable
There are many ways that we can practise vulnerability in our lives. Here are some ideas that you might find helpful along the way:
Get to know yourself
The more we know who we are and our core truth, the easier it will be to show more of ourselves to others.
Begin to feel your feelings
If you are not used to holding space for your feelings, start by noticing how your emotions feel in your body, especially ones that feel uncomfortable. This is a great way to become used to being vulnerable.
Learn how to express yourself
Get used to expressing how you’re feeling - positive or negative emotions. You could begin with journaling or sharing with a trusted friend. This will gently help to build trust with others.
Challenge yourself to move out of your comfort zone
Is there something you’d love to do but have held back? This is super helpful for boosting your natural resilience and trust in yourself; no matter what, you can handle it!
Be compassionate
Be gentle with yourself - it may take some time to become more vulnerable in all aspects of your life, but congratulate yourself every step of the way.
Practice
The more you keep practising vulnerability, the stronger this part of you will become. The more you can be open with others, the quicker it will feel safe.
Your vulnerability journey
If you feel drawn to living more authentically, as many of us are, then spiritual coaching can help you create change by understanding yourself on a deeper level. There are many tools and techniques that can support you in becoming more emotionally vulnerable in your life. Get in touch to book your free 30-minute consultation, and discover more about the benefits of working with a spiritual coach.