Boosting Your Self-esteem
You’ve probably heard the phrase ‘self esteem’ mentioned a lot, especially when it comes to personal growth and development. As life becomes busier, we are all being called to focus on our inner world, and a big part of this revolves around how we feel about ourselves. But what is self esteem, and why is building self esteem important for our whole wellbeing?
Very simply, self-esteem is the way we see and value ourselves. It’s our sense of self worth, and confidence in who we are as a human being. People with healthy self esteem tend to feel good about themselves, and hold more positive thoughts about life in general. Healthy self esteem is important for supporting your emotional wellbeing, cultivating healthy relationships, and helping you to build resilience.
In this blog we’ll learn more about how low-self esteem can impact you, and which strategies can help you to feel better about yourself, and boost your self esteem.
Understanding Self-Esteem:
The concept of self-esteem dates back to the 18th century, where Scottish philosopher David Hume linked the way humans value themselves, with reaching their full potential. This idea went on to be developed by American philosopher and psychologist William James, who described the self as having multiple aspects.
More recently, in the 1960s, self-esteem was described by psychologist Mark Rosenburg as a feeling of self worth. He created a self-esteem scale, widely used in social science, to identify low self esteem. Psychotherapists began to see the value in studying the relationship between self-esteem and the treatment of psychotherapy cases.
Over the years, many psychologists have held theories on how to build self esteem. One of the best known theories is by Abraham Maslow, who created the Hierarchy of Human Needs. He theorised that for self-esteem to flourish, humans need both respect from others and respect for the self.
Today, there are many factors and life events that can play a role in people suffering with low self esteem issues. These include:
Abuse and bullying
Discrimination
Mental health issues
Relationship issues
Day to day stress around money
Issues with self-image
The Impact of Low Self-Esteem:
Sometimes it’s not until you begin to reflect, that you realise that your self-esteem may not be exactly where you’d like it to be. But what is low self esteem? Low self-esteem can have a huge impact in all areas of your life. People with low self esteem struggle to trust themselves, so find it difficult to make decisions. This self-doubt can lead to a lack of confidence, limited personal boundaries, and an abundance of negative thoughts. Other signs of low self esteem include:
A wholly negative mindset
Continual comparison with others
Lower mental health, leading to depression, anxiety and other disorders
Missing out on career prospects
Fewer personal relationships
A fear of failure
Common Misconceptions about Self-Esteem:
There are many misconceptions when it comes to fully understanding self-esteem. For example, it’s simply not true that some people are born with self-esteem and some aren’t. It’s a process that takes patience and time, as you navigate life’s challenges.
When it comes to talking about confidence, many people falsely think that if someone has high self esteem, they must be overconfident, and even arrogant. When in reality, they may value themselves, but struggle with confidence in other areas of their life.
Another common misconception is that self-esteem and success come hand in hand. Strengthening your self-esteem will definitely benefit you when it comes to reaching your goals, but there are many other factors involved when it comes to achieving success in your life.
It’s also easy to assume that sticking to the things you’re good at will boost self-esteem in the long run. But actually, by taking yourself out of your comfort zone and trying new things, this reinforces your bravery, capability and resilience.
Strategies for Boosting Self-Esteem:
Self-esteem is something that is important to cultivate, and helps us to be resilient in all areas of our life. The more we can be comfortable being ourselves, the better we will feel throughout all areas of our life.
When it comes to how to improve self esteem, there are lots of ways to help you to build confidence, and begin to value who you are. Here are some ideas:
Practice positive self-talk - the words we speak to ourselves are so important, so get into the habit of building yourself up, just as a friend would, instead of knocking yourself down.
Share how you’re feeling with a good friend - you don’t need to cope with these feelings alone. Sharing your emotions is a great start to helping you to process them.
Spend time setting goals and take action towards them - being intentional helps you to become motivated and get things done.
Start a self-care routine - taking time for yourself can be a good way for you to begin to notice your worth. This might look like quiet time alone for reflection, or even reflecting on the food you are consuming. There are many self-care ideas to help you to focus on you, rather than others.
Practice mindfulness - introducing stillness into your day allows you to focus on the now. This includes being able to listen to your body and focus on what it’s telling you. Turn the focus from things going on outside of you, to what’s going on inside.
Commit to exercise and movement - this helps to get your energy moving, helping to shift stagnant thoughts and old patterns of behaviour. Exercise also releases endorphins, which will help to boost your general mood.
Role of Therapy and Coaching:
Therapy can be especially helpful in helping to support self-esteem issues. Often, we feel that we have to face our issues alone, but sharing our thoughts and challenges with a therapist or coach can offer a new perspective, and be really beneficial to our mental health.
Both coaches and therapists offer a safe space to explore the self, and get to know yourself on a deeper level. There are often multiple reasons why self-esteem is low, and delving into this deeply with a professional can help to get to the root of why you feel the way you do.
There are many types of therapy suitable for boosting self esteem, including talking therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is especially good because it helps to challenge many of the negative thinking patterns that a person may have adopted, and replaces them with more positive alternatives, and new ways of thinking.
Key Takeaways:
Living with low self-esteem has a huge impact on a person’s day to day life. It may feel as though things will always be this way, but there are lots of strategies available to you, to help you to move beyond what you think might be possible for you. Each of us are amazing individuals, with unique traits, and every person deserves to know their worth, and feel good about themselves. Choose to take the first step on your self-esteem journey today, and discover just how far your potential goes when you can fully accept and celebrate yourself.