What Is Ego? 5 Steps to Free Yourself From It — Gareth Michael
You may not realise it, but you have created a sense of who you think you are throughout your life. This starts in childhood but over time, the words we hear, the thoughts we have, and the experiences we go through all shape this sense of identity.
By the time we reach adulthood, we are mostly living unconsciously, controlled by our unconscious mind, which often impacts our mental health. We identify so strongly with this created sense of self, that we have forgotten who it is we truly are. When we embark on a spiritual journey, learning about this aspect of ourselves is an important part of our growth.
Many people wonder, ‘What is the definition of ego?’ In this blog, we’ll look at what this is, how to become more aware of yours, and how to free yourself from this limited thinking.
What is your ego?
Coming from the latin translation of “I”, it means our constructed sense of self. This construct is like a layer of who we think we are, which separates us from who we are truly meant to be. While you may think this part of you is your identity, the real you lies beneath the layers of protection you’ve applied throughout your life to keep you feeling safe.
Our learning about this dates back to Sigmund Freud, who came up with the psychoanalytic theory, which outlines the impact of our unconscious mind on our thoughts and behaviours. Freud’s theory of personality states that there are three divisions of the psyche or human mind and that these separate but interconnecting parts drive human behaviour. These can be broken into the ‘ego’, ‘superego’ and the ‘id.’
The id is the instinctual part of our conscious mind, with two primitive drives responding to our basic needs, urges, and desires. The demands of the id relate to instant gratification - anything that pleases us. The ego develops after the id and allows these desires to be expressed in an acceptable way to the external world - which Freud also coined the ‘reality principle’.
The superego, or big ego, is the part of the psyche that is our moral compass, which is initially learned from our parents but continues to grow as our morals develop. Freud believed that to have a strong sense of who we are, the id, ego, and superego need to be balanced.
In his personality theory, Freud also talks about defense mechanisms, a psychological term that describes how we protect ourselves when things happen in the external reality that make us uncomfortable. You can read more about this in the book by Freud, ‘The ego and the Id.’
How the ego shows up
This is often something that many of us associate with arrogance, boasting, or someone who has an overinflated sense of importance. But we have all been conditioned to act using this side of ourselves.There are some ways we can spot the ego at play. If you’re wondering what is ego, examples of these include:
Indecision.
Resistance.
Anger.
Perfectionism.
Stubbornness.
Judgement.
Impatience.
Negative self-talk.
This part of ourselves is neither a good nor a bad thing, but when we are not aware of its hold on us, it can leave an emotional path of destruction after it. It wants us to feel better than others and prioritises our interests. Ego doesn’t live in the present moment and relies on the power of thought for it to become stronger.
How to free yourself of your ego
Many people want to know how to find freedom. It’s important to know that this aspect of who we think we are is not our enemy; it is an illusion of ourselves. To rediscover our authentic selves, we must be willing to move past the thinking that places a hold on us and learn how to create more self-awareness. These steps will help you to check in with yourself and move past egoic thinking:
Step 1: Observe your thoughts
To begin the process of freeing ourselves from any limitations, we must become conscious of our thoughts from an outside perspective, noticing them without judgement. Awareness of things we don’t usually see is key to beginning our journey to freedom.
Step 2: Overcome feelings of needing to be better
The ego likes to separate us from other people when in reality, we are one. We do not need to feel superior to others; we can learn to stop worrying about what other people are doing and, instead, increase our sense of self-worth.
Step 3: Practice being present
Being present allows us to receive insight and connect with our true selves. And when we are present, we are not creating stories to fuel our stories. Mindfulness and meditation are great ways to bring us back to the now.
Step 4: Let go of judgement
When we let go of judgement, we allow ourselves the opportunity to focus on the goodness within ourselves and others. For those wanting to discover more about what is the ego, spirituality practices such as mindfulness can help us to release judgement and connect with compassion.
Step 5: Practice gratitude
The powerful practice of gratitude helps us to start appreciating the little things. Gratitude helps the ego to stop comparing to others because whatever you are grateful for in the present moment is always enough. Instead of inflating your circumstances, gratitude will help you to find peace.
Healing your ego
The ego is simply the part of ourselves that we have constructed, right from the early stages of our lives. It is our sense of self, which has been shaped by our experiences - but it isn’t who we are on a deeper level.
Becoming more self-aware and discovering who you are under all the layers you have constructed, will transform your life. If you’re ready to take this step, spiritual coaching will help you to delve into your belief system and discover the limitations that are stopping you from living your fullest life.
Get in touch today to book a discovery call, and find out how Gareth can help you to connect with yourself on a deeper level, and guide you towards the transformation you are looking for.
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