Is It Fake To Act Differently Around Different People?
Have you ever noticed yourself acting one way with a group of friends but then a different way with your family, or your colleagues at work? Maybe you’re confident and loud in one situation, but much more reserved in a different setting. Perhaps you’re wondering, ‘Why do I act different around everyone?’ And does acting differently mean you’re being fake, or just adapting to the situation you’re in?
Changing how we act around different people is something most of us do without thinking. As your awareness of this rises you might begin to notice this in others too and ask yourself, ‘What does it mean if someone acts different around you?’
If you’ve ever wondered ‘Why do people act differently around different people?’ then spiritual coach Gareth Michael delves deeply into this topic during this blog. His insights help us understand why we change our behavior, and whether this means we’re being inauthentic or if it’s simply a natural part of being human.
Read on to discover more about why people act differently in different settings, whether this is a positive or negative thing, and why it’s important to stay true to your authentic self no matter the situation.
What Makes Us Act Different Around Different People?
It’s natural to notice changes in how we act depending on who we’re with. It’s something we all do, often without even thinking. If you’re acting different around different people, it doesn’t necessarily mean we are being fake. It could be our natural way of adapting to being around different people and unfamiliar situations. So why do we act differently around others?
Past Experiences
When someone acts different around others it could be to do with their past experiences. When we’ve gone through something painful or traumatic, we often change our behavior to avoid repeating those situations. This can make us act differently in certain settings without us even realizing. This could look like holding back on opening up if you’ve been criticized, or putting up emotional barriers to protect yourself.
The effects of past trauma can stick with us for a long time, influencing how we react to other people. Recognizing these patterns can help us understand ourselves on a deeper level and find healthier ways to move forward.
For those dealing with the lingering effects of trauma, this expert guide to healing from grief offers practical steps and emotional support.
People Pleasing
For some people, acting differently around others is linked to the desire to please the people around them. This is known as people pleasing, where a person adjusts their behavior based on what they think others want or expect, even if it means ignoring their own thoughts and opinions. They fear disappointing others or causing conflict, so they try to make everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing their own happiness.
This can create an inner conflict and leave them feeling disconnected from their true self. They might say yes when they want to say no or agree with things that go against their values. Over time, this struggle between pleasing others and being authentic can leave them feeling exhausted and unfulfilled.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, ‘Why do I act different around different people?’ then it could be that there’s a part of you that is trying to conform to the social settings you are in. Finding a balance here is an important part of becoming more authentic in every area of your life.
Conforming To Your Settings
Many of us adjust our behavior depending on where we are or who we’re with, whether it’s at a party, work event, or family gathering. You might even be able to feel when someone acts different around you. As humans we have a natural desire to "fit in”, especially if we feel a pressure to meet social expectations. The fear of standing out or being judged often makes us behave in ways that allow us to fit in, even if it doesn’t reflect our authentic self.
Someone who adapts their behavior to conform with the people around them can also be known as having a mirror personality. This can happen consciously or unconsciously and is often a way of that person navigating different social settings.
This need to conform can help us feel more comfortable in the moment and avoid conflict, but it can also lead us to hide parts of ourselves. Over time, this can cause us to lose touch with who we really are and feel disconnected from ourselves.
If you're curious about the impact of changing your behavior in different situations, explore this comprehensive analysis on self-awareness to gain deeper insights.
Is Acting Differently Around Certain People A Bad Thing?
Adjusting our behavior in different settings can be a very natural thing. People who act different around others may find it difficult to be in different social settings so it can be their way of navigating this. Whether this change is a negative thing for you will depend on the reasons behind it. It’s important to understand why we act differently and ensure that ultimately, we're staying true to ourselves.
To understand the role of spiritual guidance in our lives, learn more about the transformative benefits of spiritual counseling.
Are You Showing A Different Side of Yourself, Or Pretending To Be Something You’re Not?
When we behave differently, we could simply be opening up, or sharing a different side of ourselves. Opening up is about letting people see the real you - your thoughts, feelings, and who you are - without trying to be someone you’re not. Being authentic and vulnerable allows a person to connect more easily with others on a deeper level. And ultimately this leaves us feeling positive and empowered.
But can acting different around others be harmful? When we pretend to be something we’re not, we change ourselves to fit in or gain the approval of others. We might feel the need to put on a mask to hide who we really are, which over time can leave us feeling disconnected from our authentic self, empty and exhausted.
To delve deeper into understanding and embracing your true self, consider these powerful steps to discover your passion in life.
Are You Acting Differently In An Attempt To Manipulate A Person Or Situation?
Sometimes people change their behavior to influence or control a person or situation. This is a form of manipulation and while it might seem like a quick way to get what you want, this kind of behavior can be very damaging. It can leave trust broken, relationships strained, and move you further away from your authentic self.
It’s important to recognize when you’re tempted to act this way and try to find the deeper reasons. It is far better to try to communicate openly and genuinely, even if it feels hard to do at the time. Authenticity builds trust, whereas manipulation undermines it.
For those looking to lead a more genuine and fulfilling life, explore this guide on living authentically.
Are You Going Against Your Core Values By Acting Different?
Your core values are what define who you are. They help you to make choices and represent what matters to you. Changing your behavior to fit in might mean that you end up going against your values and beliefs.
Align your choices with your values by exploring spiritual coaching insights that help maintain integrity in your decisions.
Going against your beliefs can make you feel disconnected from who you are and hides the real you. When this behavior continues over a long time, it becomes harder to live as your authentic self, and stops people from connecting with you on a genuine level. Staying true to your values isn’t always easy, but it ensures you’re living as your authentic self, and will attract people who truly appreciate you.
Are You Changing To Try To Be Considerate Of Others?
We may change the way we act as a way to be more considerate of others. This doesn’t mean we have to abandon our values, but we may choose to be mindful of how our thoughts or opinions can affect others. For example, if you have a different opinion, being mindful of your tone or the way you approach a topic can help avoid tension and keep things respectful.
Consider how mindfulness practices can enhance your ability to be considerate and connect with others authentically.
Being considerate is a way to connect with others without changing who you are. It doesn’t mean you need to hide your beliefs, but instead you can show empathy and compassion by being aware of the other person’s feelings.
Why It’s Important To Stay Authentic To Your True Self
Being true to yourself is important because it helps you live in a way that reflects your own values and beliefs. When you stay authentic, you feel more aligned with who you are, and it’s easier to make decisions that feel right for you, instead of following what you think you should do to fit in.
Staying authentic also helps you build stronger, healthier connections with people that are based on trust. When you're authentic with others they are more easily able to relate to you and you begin to create a life that feels good, instead of constantly trying to fit in.
If you're struggling with staying true to your values amidst social pressure, explore these insights on how to be authentic in your daily interactions.
Find Your Authentic Self With Gareth Michael
When it comes to why we act differently around people, it’s clear that this is influenced by a combination of our past experiences, social pressure that we feel, and our values. While we often naturally change our behavior to suit different situations, it’s important to find a balance so that we don’t lose sight of who we truly are. Staying true to who we are allows us to build deeper, more meaningful connections and live a life aligned with our beliefs and values.
Understand how past experiences shape your behavior and learn ways to embrace authenticity.
If you want to explore how to embrace authenticity in your life, check out Gareth Michael’s podcast, Practical Spirituality. You’ll find valuable tips and inspiration to help you explore life and live true to who you are. In this episode, Gareth discusses the reasons behind us hiding our authentic selves.
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You can also listen to Practical Spirituality on all major platforms:
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